Humor and Persuasion

Everybody likes to laugh. There is not anything wild about that claim. Humor can elevate the mood of someone who is down or contribute to someone’s already good time. A beneficiary of a raised mood is the person or message providing it. In terms of persuasion, when people are in a good mood they are less likely to disagree and furthermore, they connect with the source because a shared sense of humor represents a shared set of underlying values (Lyttle, 2001). Simply, humor creates likability for the source that helps to break down the walls of persuasion by building a relationship between the sender and receiver.

The use of humor for persuasive purposes is no secret. Just watch TV for a short while and notice how many commercials try to make you laugh. Humor can create a comfortable and likeable feeling between parties, distract an audience from weaker messages, and add to overall exposure. Humor can be seen as the preferred choice for weaker arguments. So unless you are building your persuasive case based on strong convincing arguments, it may be a good idea to splice some humor into your message.

References
Lyttle, J. (2001). The effectiveness of humor in persuasion: The case of business ethics training. The Journal of General Psychology, 128 (2), 206-217. Retrieved August 15, 2009 from ProQuest database.

Forgotten Triumphs

I remember sitting on the bench next to Bill. We had been deemed to sit out the final inning for no other reason than two of us had to. That was the life of a mediocre ballplayer: playing the field one inning and riding the pine in the next. It wasn't all bad. In fact it wasn't bad at all. We got to play plenty and we got to practice spitting seeds when we were benched. I could hold my own, but Bill was like no eleven year old I had ever seen. He could hit a batting helmet from ten feet away in mid sentence. To this day, I've yet to see a spitter with his presence. He could have been a big leaguer if he could only hit a baseball.

I didn't know it at the time, but this would be the only championship game I would get to play in. We had a pretty good team that year. On paper we were decent. On the field we were above average. On the bench we were loose. Win or lose, game or practice, it didn't matter. The team got along and we were all better for it.

Neal was manning right field for the finale. Neal was easily our worst player. He couldn't hit, throw, catch, or run. Hell he couldn't even spit a seed past his foot. Nobody hated him for it though. Every team had a Neal. Most of them wouldn't put him in the championship game for the final inning though. But coach felt bad. He had been ignoring Neal most of the game. Besides, we were winning by five runs. How could Neal mess that up? This game was all but over.

As Bill and I sat and watched, our five run lead slowly eroded to one. It started with an infield single, followed by a walk, followed by a lazy fly ball straight to Neal that he predictably dropped. It seemed like every silly play kept repeating itself. Every hit was barely hit. Every ground ball found the one piece of ground we couldn’t cover. It was a slow and painful choke. The two outs we managed to get were like pulling teeth and Neal had already booted two sure things. Our loose fun loving team had tightened up. And that is when I got the call. “Kevin!” coach yelled at me even though he was standing four feet away. “Get in there for Neal!” I didn’t say a word. I grabbed my gloved and ran out to relieve Neal. Trust me, he was thankful.

To know me as a ballplayer, all you need to understand is that I was fundamentally sound. As a hitter, I was no one a pitcher feared. However, it was virtually impossible to strike me out. I could hit foul balls for days until a guy got tired and finally walked me. As a fielder, I never dropped a ball. Whether I was scooping balls at first or shagging them in the outfield, I was as reliable as they came. You know all those remedial cliqued quips of advice that all coaches say? I followed them. When I was at bat, I kept my eye on the ball. When I was in the field, my hands were on my knees thinking about what I would do if the ball came to me before every pitch. I always knew the outs. I always knew the scenario. I always made the catch. And now with the bases loaded, up by one, I was injected into the championship game with the sharpest hit fly ball I had even seen heading right towards me.

I remember the ball taking off like a rocket. A loud collective gasp from every player and everyone in attendance was quickly followed by a loud consistent noise. People were yelling. People were screaming. Nobody was sitting down. Through the noise, all I could see was a ball that may never come back down to earth. However, what goes up must come down and after a fleeting moment of panic, I realized that I could catch this ball. By the time I realized that, I was already running to my spot. As fast as the ball went up, I couldn’t believe how slow it was to come down. I was there and ready to catch the ball with several precious moments to spare.

So what did I do?

I caught it. It was like any other catch. In fact, it wasn’t even one of my most spectacular ones. I caught it though. I made it look easy. The other team was stunned. The sound of the bat hitting the ball alone was enough to make them think they had won. But I caught it. No problem. I jogged in and tossed the ball over to the coach. We always did that. These were the balls we played every game with. He smiled at me and said “You made me look like a genius” as he tossed it back. “Keep it,” he said. “That’s the game ball.”

Sometimes it’s easy to forget triumphs of our youth. Years after my playing days were over; I got a job painting houses for the summer. I was a nineteen year-old kid burned out on the fundamentals. I couldn’t even remember being an eleven year-old anymore. I showed up the first morning and was greeted with a smiling new boss whose first words to me were “You made me look like a genius”. It took less than a moment for it all to come rushing back to me. I made the game winning catch; the championship game winning catch. That is one triumph that I never will forget again.

Sefl-Awareness vs. Self-Confidence

I talk a lot in this blog about knowing your identity. Self-awareness is an important and dominant human characteristic to me because it is the essence of all of our thoughts and actions. Being self-aware is what enables us to have confidence in ourselves and also to doubt ourselves. If you ever want to develop yourself and your identity into an ideal state it takes self-confidence. The kicker, as Cathy McCullough writes, “is that we rarely gain it (self-confidence) when things are going at a steady pace” (2007). Essentially, we cannot gain confidence in ourselves without first failing along the way. Life is full of ups and downs and when we err is when we learn the most about ourselves and our surroundings. Self-confidence is not just the feeling we have when we know that we can succeed; it is also the feeling we have when we know that we will survive any mistakes we make. From my perspective, keeping things the way they are for fear of failure will stunt any growth you wish to make.

References
McCullough, C. (2007, December). Developing YOU! T + D 61(12), 64-65,67. Retrieved April 27, 2009, from Proquest Database.

Learn to Listen!

Listening is one skill I could use improvement in. According to one study, American listeners pay more attention to individuals’ feelings and concerns during interaction as a reflection of our cultures importance on “the individual”; while in Israel, listeners focus more on details and information in order to limit misunderstandings (Brosius, Kiewitz, Weaver, & Weimann, 1997). I believe I fall into the American category. My “game play” involves recognizing human emotions and true intentions. I think that is important but it should be done in more of a balance with retaining actual information. I also focus too much on how I am being perceived which diverts my attention away from the details. Simple things like a person’s name do not stick in my memory because I categorize it as unimportant. However, later on it can be confusing or insulting when I cannot recall a name. Another problem I have is with involuntary attention. Something like strange or sudden stimuli can easily distract me from what I should be listening to. I believe some of my shortcomings are important skills to have. Understanding peoples’ emotions and being alert to the world around me can be very helpful. However, the balance I spoke of before can sometimes be lacking.

Reference
Brosius, H. B., Kiewitz, C., Weaver J. B., Weimann G., (1997). Cultural differences in listening style preferences: A comparison of young adults in Germany, Israel, and the United States. International Journal of Public Opinion Research, 9(3), 233-247. Retrieved April 3, 2009, from Research Library database.

Interpersonal Communication

Interpersonal communication is basically face-to-face interaction between two people (Trenholm, 2008, p. 141). This is important in all facets of life. It is how we build relationships, tell stories, or close a business deal. My overall skills in this aspect of communication have evolved over time. As a shy kid, I often had trouble expressing myself around strangers especially one-on-one. That was one reason I had trouble building new relationships outside my friends and family. It has also helped me to value the strong personal relationships that I had even more. I have grown to be more open and casual in my interpersonal contact which has made me an overall effective communicator.

The communication perspective I identify with the most is the pragmatic model. In this perspective, communication is seen like a game. The two “players” exchange “moves” which are based in strategy and routines. This kind of makes communication sound self-serving and impersonal. However, I argue that most, if not all, of life is spent serving our own interests whether it is perceived as selfish or not. And much of life is also based in routine. Even though every second we live is different than the last, we draw on the basic principles and experiences we know in order generate our responses. Games can also be friendly or played for profit or personal gain. Overall, though, communication is a game we have played a million times. We see patterns, recognize types of people, and adjust our communication to whichever game we feel like playing. Playing together so often allows us go in directions that we know the others around us can follow. It's chemistry and is mostly all unsaid.

References
Trenholm, S. (2008). Thinking through communication. Boston: Allyn and Bacon.